- Thur. October 24, 1996
- Meet Ray and his Consort, Tara prior to lecture at U.C. Rick A. and I take them about town to
various bookstores and shops. We have a great time. I am very impressed with Ray and Tara who are very down
to earth and kind folk. Ray mentions a fondness for Mead and Rick A. and I scramble to get bottle of same prior
to lecture! The lecture goes very well with a turnout of 150-200 people and over 140 lbs of canned food collected
for the Freestore Foodbank! Ray is pleased with gift of Mead and Meave promises to send him a bottle of much superior
homebrewed variety! I am pleased that lecture has gone so well but feel drained from attending to myriad details that
don't really allow me to connect with folk at lecture. I must learn to find balance in my commitment to Service to be
able to do so effectively.
- Sat. October 26, 1996
- Samhain Rite at Trusty Pines by the Temple Enoki Sheya Temple. This was the same ritual
performed in past years for Samhain. The celebration was marred by last minute quarrellings in the community
which ended with a Blood Moon Esbat rite being scheduled for the same time as it was full moon.
The Rite started with a dumb supper for the dead. Due to the inclement weather, Consort and I arrived
late and proceeded directly to the Ancestor Shrine to make our offerings. We picked up Rick A. and silently
mimed for him to join us at the shrine. I had brought a plate of food from the dumb supper, a bottle of home
brew, The Dark Sleep Stout (my first attempt), home-made Damiana liquor (also my first attempt), a chocolate candy bar, and the usual cigars and water. I felt
very good about the offerings and was quite moved. In an amuzing scene when consort went to pour her offering of Damiana
one of her ancestors grabbed the bottle and took a large swig! I was honored.
The main rite proceeded as in previous years. For me this was very disapointing and I'm not clear why. The previous year,
this rite had been very powerful for me but this time I felt none of the energies of the circle and did not percieve any of
the magickal structures that were erected. Despite my best efforts to focus my intent and energies, it just wasn't happening
for me. I did approached the conjoined vortices of the under and over world and vibrated the Norse Godnames as I do in my
daily rites: (the Rune Guild version of the Qabalistic cross). Finally, I had Holly cut me out of the circle and went for a long
stroll on the land, intending to return after the main rite was
completed. I really don't feel this is an overt or objective criticism of the ritual as it was clear that other folks got a lot out of it and
indeed in previous years it had moved me powerfully. I finally returned and the ritual was still going on. Perhaps my only
objective criticism is that it seemed to me that people were done long before things were closed down and that the energies of the
participants were poorly monitored. In any event, after the rite I attained ecstasy through sacrament and really enjoyed drumming with
Elise. Despite my personal disappointment about the rite, I am pleased to join in the celebration with the community which I regard as family.
Rick A. asks if Consort and I will attend weekend Requiem. Consort must do work obligations. I will attend and offer to pick up any ritual duties
that might not be covered. (Rick A. wishes for couples to do quarter casting of watchtowers.)
- Sun. October 27, 1996
- Perform Rune Guild Blood Moon rite with Consort. Galdr is excellent and very powerful. While we vibrate the Godname Mani, the Norse God of the moon, who is male, I hear the
Galdr produce a pure, clean vibrating pitch that sounds like a Tibetan temple chime. This pitch is way above the physical sounds that we are making.
- Mon. October 28, 1996
- Awoke with strange sureal dream. After effects from Samhain Rite, or Full Moon or just the thinness of the veils? I rarely remember
my dreams... I was at Trusty Pines only in the dream it was about twice the size it actually is. There were a bunch of cops on the land but
it was ok, like it was a convention or something... Something drastic happened and they all suddenly rusked off. I had to urgently make this
telephone call on a very surreal machine with a regular rotary dial but with additional buttons and levers. I tried to manipulate the levers but failed
to make the machine work. Duck was there and urging me on... Finally I used the rotary dial to make the call. Next there was this large hawser style rope
that streched off the back fo the land (Incidently, this the area that the Ranger identifies as the power center that speaks to him while drumming...) I grasped the
rope and begin tugging, dragging it toward the front of the land. Finally, Al, the land owner arrives and I drag the rope up to him and awaken! (I wondered if this
was a message that I was supposed to attend the court trial for the noise disturbance on the land which I mistakenly thought was that day but it turned out to be
actually scheduled for the next week.)
First meeting of new Asatru Fellowship/Kindred. I am pleased that it happens but seems to be vague and initially unfocused.
Perhaps this is only the natural formation pains of a new group. We resolve to begin each meeting with a fellowship and potluck followed by a Hallowing and lore discussion.
Will also seek out more folk that might be interested in doing work with Norse system and deities.
- Tue. October 29, 1996
- Had another strange surreal dream and told it to Consort, but stupidly failed to chronicle it and subsequently lost it. Feel very badly about this and prayed for
dreams to continue but did not receive more on subsequent nites...
Receive excellent letter from Ray thanking me for tour of Cincinnati bookstores and shops. Ray is also
pleased with turnout for lecture and the way it is received.
Darleen did presentation on Santeria/Yoruba at student group. Good presentation but again few students attend. This is first meeting after sucessful RB lecture and
makes me wonder if the student group is supposed to continue or not. I am trying to be non-attached to it in an impeccable non-ego way. It is difficult to allow ones Magickal
Child the freedom to fail or self-destruct but to do less is to delude oneself.
- Wed. October 30, 1996
- Continued runic meditation sequence. Burned Raido rune and began two week period for next rune which is Kenaz. Talking to Ranger and Pam, we get into discussion of
my experience in the concrete ashram. I mention learning to make the most of this time from a mentor I found who despite no hope of any eventual release after 25 years in
ashram has still maintained a healthy and growthful outlook on life. I begin to tell about living in the dorm and the weird psychic flows there. I am moved to tears by the
overwhelming memories... Need to do more inner work with this. Hope to ride with Ranger to Sat. Requiem to allow for continuation of
discussion of mentor...
We do the Kenaz Galdr which for numerological reasons Consort has determined requires the addition of the Eiwaz Yew Rune to the usual consonant/vowel groupings. The Galdr is
very vibrant and powerful!
- Thurs. October 31, 1996
- Wore my devil costume (Horns, Cloak and tail) to U.C. I am saddened that so few take the opportunity to shuck the everday mask and don a costume. This is especially true in
consideration of the realative youth of most people on campus. This theme continues as I go to psychology class and a young TA tries to give a presentation on transpersonal psych.
A noble attempt but poorly planned and executed. His rambling, unfocused talk makes no impression on the class which briefly breaks up into small discussion groups and then departs.
In our discussion group I try to explain why the mythic is important in our lives using the Star Wars example that was cited in the presentation. The discussion moves in to the transpersonnal
focus of Abraham Maslow with that idea that people can be more than their everyday selves. I try to explain this through the example of Tantra Yoga but only succeed in offending one young girl
and not reaching the other folks. It seems that for many of the students that I come in contact with the effects of society can already be percieved on them for their are closed to Life. This
saddens me a great deal. I wonder if there is Ego in this. I am thankful for my own limited insights...
Had an Ancestor supper to celebrate Samhain.
Bill and Marta, Alecia and Joe, Owen, and Consort and myself were present.
Did a Hammer Hallowing Rite to set up sacred space. Then we did three rounds
in which we each invited an ancestor to the space and told an anecdote about them.
I had been recently thinking about the alternate reality in which my older sister who had been
stillborn had actually lived so I mentioned her in the first round and in subsequent rounds,
my friends Rodney, and Johelen. The celebration went well and everyone had a great time. I really
like Joe who we jokingly call the bear man from Alaska. He really does manifest a bear spirit in the
best of ways and is very jovial.
In the middle of the service, Darleen and Kat arrived to pick up some paperwork. I cut the circle for them and
they joined us for a round. Darleen blessed us all with a blessing from her tradition (Yoruba/Santeria)
whcih was really great.
Afterwards, I help some folks carry an old wooden coffin that Owen had to a friend's house several blocks away.
It was really cool carrying the coffin through the streets and singing old funerary songs on All Hallow's Eve
close to midnight!