The Magickal Record of Fra Geh Mad

Sat. Nov. 2, 1996
Performed Rune Guild Rite of Solitary Initiation to formally join the Guild. The rite is very powerful and vibrant and I have a good feeling from it. I modified the rite slightly by reading a passage from the Havamal of the Poetic Edda in Old Norse, followed by the English translation that is normally read. I have been using this passage as part of my daily runic work for some time already. Used the last bottle of The Dark Sleep Stout, (my first home brew attempt) in the rite. When I brewed it, I had charged the wort with the formula for Odin's Mead of Inspiration: Ansuz-Laguz-Uruz.

Attended Requiem Rite at Trusty Pines for Rick and Debbie's pre-mature son, Charles.

On way up had long discussion with Ranger and Pam about my time in the Concrete Ashram. This seemed good for me and I told them about some of the more interesting people I met there and answered their questions about my experiences. It is good for me to analyze these memories periodically.

Arrived late so rite was in progress, (nearly over) I was not pleased with this. The Rite was very beautiful and served the purpose of easing the pain of the parents and that of the community. Afterwards, I went down to the Ancestor Shrine with Rick and Debbie adn Ranger and Pam and we made the usual offerings of water, cigars and a plate of food. I had also brought some foil-wrapped chocolate in the shape of a gold coin. In addition we had the mead from the bottle that was left over fromt he ritual. I think that the trip to the ancestor shrine provided an additional closure to the ritual. Shared my reflections with Rick and Debbie that perhaps Charles was taken by Odin to serve in Valhal. A fate that I would embrace...

Mon. Nov. 4, 1996
Receive e-mail from R. aserting that someone in Green Dome is accusing her of Magickal Attacks on the community! Reply in measured tones that I am unaware of any such attacks or slander and wish her well. Ironically, she was instrumental in helping to found GDT and it wold be absurd for anyone in the community to wish her ill.

Other e-mail message from Louis Martinee mentions Manmam Brigette, the wife of Papa Legba and Loa of Beneficial Court proceedings. I interpret this as a favorable sign for Green Dome Temple court hearing and will make appropriate offering at Ancestor Shrine to her if we get a favorable outcome.

We had the second meeting of the Norse Fellowship/Kindred last nite at Dave & Courtney's. Court was at GDT Trial and missed the meeting. I did the Hammer Hallowing to set up sacred space and we then had a discussion on terminology and some stories about the deities. It was a good meeting and we resolved to celebrate Yule/12 Nites on fri. Dec. 20. Also Dave is interested in redoing the Wiccan Temple into a Norse Harrow. I told him that I would be into assisting with that. I would like to create some really charged group ritual items: Hammer, Harrow, Horn, Blot-bowl etc. Preferably, we can combine the craft and Craft talents of each member of the kindred to impart our group essence into these tools.

Mon. Nov. 5, 1996
Louis mentions that PVN's Magickal Record has numerous daily details, so I have determined to keep mine in the form that it is in. Had thought about editing it for more focus but the whole point of the MR is to journal enough to provide a greater perspective on one's Work. Who is to say that the merest detail won't provide the very key I seek?

Did some follow up research on Disir rite that Consort mentioned in the Kevdulf's Teutonic Magic. I didn't realize that it was the source of the daily prayer I say... Thinking about performing full rite to pray for connection to Ancestral Wulf Disir. Will consider possible modifications of this outline.

Tues. Nov. 6, 1996
Another strange surreal dream! I am working at computer in vague place that might be echo of work and Duck arrives. He playfully taps the space bar on my computer keyboard and says "Now that just went to the Internet!". He hands me a walkman-style cassette player and I realize that he is returning one that belongs to me only I realize that it is not the same one that I lent him. Instead, it is brand new! The image for the walkman is very sharp and it has a sort of smooth soft black plastic finish with a arc-shaped door or lid. I notice that the earplug wire ends not in an earpiece but in bare wires and as I take the wires and place them against my head trying to hear, Duck says "You'll have to fix that!"

I wonder if the dream is an expression of my current focus on making a spiritual contact with Deity... Definitely need to check in with Duck!

Wed. Nov. 7, 1996
Study group at Ann's. Sadly there is still discussion of the Samhain rift in the community and it turns out that folks had felt a mediation between principle parties was required. I was not aware of this and am very disappointed by it all.

Tony gives a reprise of his Geomancy presentation which is very interesting. I decide to use the system to divine about my main personal concern which is to get a open connection with deity thru the great work. Using his work sheets I determine that this query will fall under Sagitarius and Jupiter. I am a little concerned about the information on the tables that Tony has because it is very Medaeval with anti-feminist associations for the Moon and the heavy focus of Saturn as malefic. Some of the deity names I think I recognise as attributed differently. Possibly the material has been deliberately re-arranged as commonly done in Fraternaties. I do intend to use the system and I am very interested in its binary basis which is similar to the Oriental I Ching and the African Obi. I consider approcahing Probability and Statistics professor to do an analysis of the system! It would be a fun computer program to write if I get any time to do so...

Thur. Nov. 8, 1996
Fragmented dream without clear images. There is some sort of Runic Medallions that "we" each have (I think there are three or four of "us".) One is Ranger as well as my self. There is an adversarial figure with absolutely no image but I know that he(?) is there in the dream. Someone's, I don't think it is mine, medallion is broken which has grave consequences for the owner. As the dream ends I hear the phrase "oepandi nam" from the Havamal being repeated/discussed.

Attended first of Queen Mother's lectures on Santeria at UC. The lecture was very interesting and I was pleased to find did not merely repeat the material I had heard previously when I attended one of her workshops. I was most interested in her use of the Tree of Life and the associations of the Orisha to the Sephira. I am looking forward to the continuation of her presentation this evening with the coverage of the Obi divination system.

There was some weirdness when Consort and I returned home after lecture. We noticed a series of strange smells in the house. With community weirdness of late I wonder about some sort of Magickal games and ask Consort to Bind house today. She tells me about being told by Wally Entity to Bind immediately Wed. nite just before I got home from meeting at Ann's, which of course she did. There sure is some straneness in the Air of late...

Fri. Nov. 9, 1996
I woke up with "sense of wrongness", am disturbed by same. Put special focus into Hammer Hallowing portion of Daily Morning Runic work and felt better. No memory of dreams toady... Consort will bind house today as well. Later in the morning there is weird emotional flux for me. It's like a gnat or little whisper in my ear that is a feeling. I am centered and fairly balanced, so I experience these as not belonging to me and dismiss (banish) them. Still, I am distracted by this awareness. Second nite of Queen Mother lecture/workshop. There is bad weather and traffic at the University and it starts late but ultimately with an even better crowd of folks. She does an excellent guided meditation which really relaxes me. Consort also enjoys the presentation.

Later she tells me that weirdness is from unintentional "leakage" from community member who is stressed over conflicts of late. Binding is reported to be effectual against same by Wally entity.

Meet Bob H. at meeting. He is new to town and looking for Asatru and Fellow Runers! I get a good feeling from him and invite him to Fellowship and Student Group...

Sat. Nov. 10, 1996
Binding seems to be effective or else "leakage" has ceased...

Went to party with Dr. B. for some members of the community. Have a great time and enjoy sacrament. I feel very close to them and in sync. E. tells me that I should consider being the Bard for the community, and tell and record it's stories. Oddly at the time, I don't feel draw to this particular role of service. Certainly there are many who tell a tale better than I! I am committed to building the community into a vehicle for self-actualization, whatever that means! Wonder if I am going to regret that Bodhisatvic vow!? :)

Dr. Bob had the chakra music cd that was spoken of by article that he circulated some weeks ba ck. We listen to the tape and do some spontaneous chakra yoga and mantra/galdor. I really like the cd and think it would be a god (oops misstyped: good) thing to acquire.

Maybe I'm just a goat but sacrament really brings out the whore in me! I just wanna have mystical union with everyone!

Sun. Nov. 11, 1996
Saw D. & C. Bob H. came over to their house. They get good impression of him as well! Hope he can make the Fellowship this evening...

Mon. Nov. 12, 1996
Awaken with obsessive idea for a short rite to start the upcoming Green Dome Temple meeting. Oddly, it is Bardical in the sense of what E. said to me at party. Will be interesting to see if this manifests or not I do feel like I should try and do it, if the community chooses to do so... I think about all the things that I have learned and all the things that we have accomplished and reflect on Dr. B's report of how most other places fail to manifest what we already have and how much we should treasure and nurture it. All parts of the ritual outline that comes to me derive from things that we have done before: Dan's requiem rite for Jaime Litton, Ranger's talk about focus and intent at GG meeting, the breathing/relaxation exercises that we did at the drumming workshop, and most importantly, the memories that I have of when we were able to transcend our individual selves to become something greater. Every Person is a Star! Green Dome Temple is a living entity, a Star in hIr own rite!

Since it is a secular holiday, I am off from work and school. I decide to complete the Geomantic Divination experiment that Tony started on Wed. nite at study group. I had decided to inquire about my efforts to find/forge connection with Disir patroness. I determine that this will be ruled by Juppiter and correspond to the house of Sagittarius. After consulting my copy of the Golden Dawn, I decide that God names are in order for correspondences. It has been a while since I have worked with the Angelic names of this system and I thought some of the associations were off, but they are fine... Still don't like simplistic planetary sigil for Juppiter so I draw the one for Hasmael using the Kamea of Jupiter. Proceed with rite by doing LPBR to create sacred space. Draw earth invoking Pentagram and inscribe with the Sigil using wand. Process of "Dotting" the paper to generate the figures proceeds naturally. Using the instructions provided in the handout, I create the 16 figures from the initial dots. I am unclear about the interpretation of same as the handouts refer to "good" and "bad" results which are vague to me. Will have to wait for next study group to get clear picture of outcome. Did look at GD text. You need to correlate the various figures with which astrological house they are in to figure their meaning...

Had a good Asatru Fellowship meeting last night. We decided to work through Kevdulf's book to give us a common focus and (eventually,) a common basis for the group. Consort and I are pleased that Bob H. is interested in doing the Rune Guild work! A possible start would be to begin working together on learning the Icelandic Language or Old Norse.

Tue. Nov. 13, 1996
Student group meeting. Darien gives a presentation on Asatru which goes well. We create a list for a Magic 101 session on terms and definitions to try and establish a common basis for future dialogs. We decided to have a Full Moon rite on Sun. the 24th followed by a potluck and X-Files. I will facilitate the rite which will be Norse trad.

Wed. Nov. 14, 1996
Small Rune study group meets again. We inscribe kenaz and begin our two-week session with Gebo. I played Edred Thorsson's Rune Song tape so folks can hear how he does the rune galdor. We (I) had been doing the individual syllables in a ceremonial style one complete breath each, but Edred uses a different arrangement where each line from the written Galdor in Futhark is said with a single breath. This method has a distinct difference and I have decided to use it for the remaining runes... Have a good vibrant Gebo galdar with the group.

Pretty much on a whim, (as far as I could tell...), Ranger decides to do a I Ching reading. He uses three coins to generate the lines but not in the traditional manner in which there are changing lines. He gets the 8th hexagram which is called Pi. The interpretive reading from the Wilhelm translation is amazing and has a focus on community and leadership that seems to apply to the Ranger in a very clear way as well as relating to my own meditations and concerns of late concerning our community.

Thur. Nov. 15, 1996
Alicia called to say that she saw in Everybody's News that Al was acquited by the judge! I will definitely have to perform the libation for Mammam Bridgette as I promised.

This turns out to be pre-mature and we will not find out the judges decision until Tues.

Fri. Nov. 16, 1996
E-mail from Paul. He likes my ritual proposal for the GDT meeting and feels I should present it to the group as a way of obtaining focus for the difficult meeting...

Lu forwards e-mail to/from Nema and we will include an older MR that she did in with the ones that he and I are doing currently!

Sat. Nov. 17, 1996
I awake with another strange and extremely vivid dream. I am in a bar which is Bogart's in the dream but is quite different from the mundane world version. I am talking/meeting with several people and as the meeting breaks up, I am already well on my way to intoxication and decide to purchase a Margarita. I give the male bartender $3.50 for the drink, but he gets distracted and never gives it to me. I approach a new bartender and explain that I never got my drink. She gives me this huge Margarita which is in a child's plastic Jack O' Lantern Halloween candy holder. It holds about half a gallon! After drinking the drink she tells me that I owe her $8.50. I get into my wallet and find a $10.00 bill that turns out to be play money. After a rather frenzied search for cash I tell her that I must go hit an ATM. She is insisting that I will not return. I offer to leave her a variety of colateral, including my student backpack, driver's license, etc. and finally leave against her wishe s. After I leave the bar, the neighborhood doesn't look anything like any I have been in before. I approach a Quiky Mart type of store and go in looking for te ATM. A small black boy pulls at my shirt and I move away from him. He persists and asks me to b uy him some candy. An older black man who works in the store yells at him and drives him away. I leave the store, still looking for an ATM and see several mastercard and visa signs for business establishments that will take the cards but no ATM. I am thinking in the dream that when I return and pay the bar maid, I will ask her to go home with me... About this time, I awaken.

Green Dome Temple meeting at Paul's. We start the meeting with the ritual exercise that had come to me over the week. It goes very well and seems to provide a focus and commonality for most of the meeting. Paul announces at meeting that he will resign a s Director of Green Dome. Group decides that the Trustees will pick a new Director for a five year term. Nominations are taken for the two-year Trustee position that is now open. There is some discussion about problems with ritual space around the bonfire at fest ivals. This is marred by scapegoating of a member not present who is accused of fomenting dissent and driving the various issues behind the discussions. This is very shameful behavior.

After meeting, Consort and Bob H. and I discuss Rune Guild work and decide to f ocus on learning the various Old Norse and Icelandic prayers and Rune poems using the Rune Song tape.

Wed. Nov. 20, 1996
Stopped by Dave's in evening for ritual rebirth of Hammer that we use for Fellowship rites. Dave had buried it for 9 nights. Recite Havamal section about Odhin spending nine nights on the tree to receive runes as Hammer is 'born'. Later in evening began practicing the Hagalasz Galdr-Stada from Futhark. It is a fairly complex formula and I find it difficult to program into my awareness requiring that I glance at written directions periodically. This practice seems very good and I feel a certain centering and pe acefullness emerge from it. Decide to try and make it a daily evening practice.

Fri. Nov. 22, 1996
Had Bardic Guild meeting. I drink much beer and achieve ectasy! Really get into playing Spam Lord's drum. It is beautifull and has a rich resonance. I find that I can play it with my fingertips rather than just my hands, so I am able to play far m ore expressively than usual for me. After playing for several hours, there is no soreness in my hands as is usual for me with sacred drumming!

We agree to do the Mummer's Play again and I will reprise my role as the No-Bull Doctor. I am looking forward to the play whi ch is a very special magickal thing. Owen and Rob also requested that I play the role of King Bean for the Yule Boar's Head Feast this year.

Missed evening Hagalaz Galdr-Stada due to drunkeness.

Sat. Nov. 23, 1996
Do Hagalaz Galdr-Stada as addition to morning rites to make up for missing it on previous nite due to drunkeness.

Work on Full Moon Ritual Outline for Fellowship.

Perform private full moon rite with consort. Rite goes well and Galdr vibration is particulary good.

Sun. Nov. 24, 1996
Attended GDT Trustee meeting for talk by Sandra on tax issues for clergy. Trustees inform me that my request to serve as clergy fro GDT has been approved! I feel a strong call to this service and am very happy that the community has choosen to recog nise it.

Had Norse Full moon rite at D and C's house. Consort is really tired from work and so in addition to them and myself, only Tony is present. I am pleased with the outline for the rite that I have developed and it oes well. As is my custom I refuse to read the rit e from the outline sheet. This time I am not real pleased with the level of eloquence that comes to me. (In this case outline is better than words I choose in ritual space to use...) One major aspect of the rite is the performance of the symbolic Blot with Mead and a boar-shaped biscuit. This goes well and I feel more confident about dong it in the future. Do perform Galdr for Mani, Norse Moon God but it is oddly flat and lacks the vital resonance I am used to. This may be result of other participants not used to doing same. Overall, rite seems to have gone well though and in evalu ation, folks say that they liked it and were able to get in touch with energies and purpose intended...

Mon. Nov. 25, 1996
Awoke with dream in mind... Dave and I are at a bookstore. He has a small pile of 4-5 books. I am going through a pile of books at the store and half way through the pile find a copy of Futhark for him. I tell him to forget about the other b ooks and get these. There are a bunch of Dover publication books in the pile.

Fellowship was good this evening. There was excellent discussion and it was clear that people were getting into the readings. We decided to continue the reading of Teutonic Religion but now that we are at the chapter on the deities we will cover them one per week. Hopefully, in addition to reading the few pages of description that Kvedulf provides, folks will read the associated sections of the Prose and Poetic Eddas.

One thing that interested me fro m the discussion was that Bob described how Loki functions in the myth as a mixture of good and bad actions. In every case, while Loki's actions can be seen as negative, they tend to propell some greater plan. Thus Balder must die in order to come back after Ragnorak, etc. This is of course an archetypal quality of most trickster deities but Loki seems more complex. I am intrigued by the blood brotherhood Loki has with Odhin which suggests to me that he may be a part of Odhin.

Fail to do Hagalaz meditation in evening, just go to bed.

Tue. Nov. 26, 1996
Encounter a strange burst of rage today... A press of humans to get tape from instructor makes me flash on concrete ashram days. I am ready to leave and get tape later but path opens and I obtain it. As I am leaving TA makes an innocuous remark tha t inflames me with rage. A totally inappropriate respnse that tells me I still carry scars (or maybe wounds)... I am in control and choose not to let my anger carry me...

Fri. Nov. 28, 1996
Daily practice suffers for the holidaze but I do perform morning ritual in imagionem while riding in vehicle to museum.

Sat. Nov. 29, 1996
Awake with forceful lust! Enjoy with consort and then have a hearty breakfast. A couple of hours later I am violently ill with fever, chills, and inability to retain any food. At it's worst my hands and feet become numb and I consider a trip to the emergency room. But the illness passes, leaving me weak and drained. I awake the next day feeling fine... The Black Moon website meeting has been cancelled because Mishlen is ill also.

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