The Magickal Record of Fra Geh Mad

Note: This month, I decided to put my entries on line directly instead of at the end of the month. So welcome to Fra Geh Mad's Soap Opera!

Tue Apr. 1
UC Pagan Student group has a great meeting! Spam and M. provide a sensory experience designed to get folks more in touch with their senses. Everyone is blindfolded and subjected to a variety of sensory stimula: tastes, smells, textures and sounds. It is a very interesting experience and I am intrigued by the possibilities of extending it. Spam describes his magickal working space which is a sort of Shamantic cave in the sense that he can completely close out the light for meditation when he desires to do so.

Wed Apr. 2
Dream: was talking/discussing the ALU galdor formula which is the Norse word for Ale and has all these connotations of divine intoxication/inspiration. Then there was a vague part where Louis Martinie' was taking a computer class at UC to learn HTML!

Rune study group met for end of Sowilo and beginning of final aettr with Tiwaz. As before we had a symbel to mark the end of the aettr. I called upon Balance, and Tyr, boasted of my getting into the MS program, and stated my Will to find a moment of quiet repose in each day for myself and to manifest the Norse software project that I have begun. Heillsa!

Thur. Apr. 3
Recieve e-mail from Luis that the latest Black Moon web project is completed. This is some drumming notes from a friend of his who has passed on. The notes are very good and I am pleased with the work. I consider how cool it is that Luis can provide a shrine to his friend's memory and allow his work to go on...

The web is a veil of dualistic (binary) electrons, a manifestatation of the great rite and a grand metaphor for the rest of creation: 1 + 1 = 1 or 2 = 1.

Fri. Apr. 4
Went drinking with C. had about five hard ciders at the Holy Grail. Then went to a club for blues but they had comedy which neither of us was in the mood for. Cruised around to the local underage coffee shop which had some garage punk bands playing. I was up for this but C. was not. I felt a great flow of energy and had a sort of flash of insight into how to express an aspect of myself that I know intuitively. There is this ecstatic aspect of myself that often requires an almost formal invokation via sacrament. The verbal metaphor I use for this is "letting the wolf out" although there is no sense of the predator there except only in the internal sense that the wolf consumes my normal operating persona and allows me to experience ecstasy. Anyway, I could feel that about two shots of liquor and some time at the punk show was just what the wolf required to manifest. (This is often the same consciousness that manifests for me at the ecstasy rites our community has when they work for me.) So, I didn't let out the wolf that night. Went back to the University and browsed the net for porn until C. was able to drive again a few hours later.

Wed. Apr. 9
Dream: anxiety filled but not to the level of a nightmare. Somehow I have run afoul of some sort of crime organization and two hit men arrive to try and kill me. The assassins are a pair of men one young and cocky and the other older and experieinced. The young cocky one points his gun at me through the glass windows located on the side of the door and grins. He decides to challenge me to a knife fight instead of just shooting me. We fight with strangely beautiful knives that are composed of one piece f solid steel with no seperate handle. The knives are sort of like small swords with a single sharpened edge with a very slight hook on the end and are used primarily in slashing. We fight for a while and then I riposte to a wild cross body slash designed to cut my throat and put my edge against the young assassins throat, as I step up close to him, forcing him to drop his weapon. I force him to kneel and stand behind him ready to slash his throat as I talk to the older assassin. By the rites of some strange code which is mutually understood, the assassins will depart and hinder me no more but I must expect that others will come in their stead...

I give a presentation on Germanic Myth and Religion in my Old English class. It goes well and despite the limited time for the presentation (15 minutes) I am able to convey some information. I give out a bibliography to go with the presentation.

Thur. Apr. 10
Dream: We(?) are visiting someone and a woman comes in carrying a baby. She walks over to me and hands me the baby, but it falls and I scaramble to catch it and it bumps it's head against the wall. I comfort it but it doesn't cry and is ok. The baby turns into a little girl who speaks to me in Russian and points accross the room at something. I ask her to repeat herself and she says something that sounds like the Russian word for "cold" but that is not it. The dream is extremely vivid and I can hear the Russian very clearly even though I don't recall it as clearly now. Then she points to a picture on the wall excitedly which is obviously the art work of a very young child, hops off my lap and runs over to it.

Interesting, we are doing the two week period of the Tewaz rune which represents the God Tyr. I look back over the entries and am struck by the "loosing the wolf" metaphor that I came up with last friday and how well it fits with the story of Tyr and Fenris! Alos there has been a strangely high level of libido for me of late which consort and I have been enjoying greatly.

Wed. April 16
Rune study group meets to discuss Tyr and begin the Berkano rune. R. shows some graphic work he has been doing on the Valknot design and it has clearly captured one of the mysterys and instantly conveys that to me and Consort. (I mean to say that thsi is a mystery that I didn't appreciate before seeing the work!)

Thur. April 17
Lecture by Patricia Monaghan at the University sponsored by the student group. She gives an excellent presentation which focuses on the feminine deities and shamanism in Korea and Japan and the Sulis Minerva shrine at Bath. She is a really fine person and we have a good time browsing the bookstore and conversing with her. I find a copy of "The Mound People" by Glob which is concerned with the Bronze age mound graves in Scandanavia.

Sun. April 20
Kindred meets to continue discussion of Soul complex. Discussion is somewhat lackluster as the material is very technical and involved. Several folk are not present and C. howls for an extended period causing great concern. How strange it is that a little baby is so limited in it's abilityto communicate with us. There is something wrong but no one can figure out exactly what... B. is strangely quiet and I am concerned for him...

Mon. April 21
I recieve the gift of an athalme that belonged to a friend. I is still consecrated and has private markings of the coven that he belonged to. I strip off the markings with alcohol pads to respect the oaths of the old covenstead. This tool is very interesting and has a great feel for me. One aspect that surprises me is that it feels most natural in my left hand but I am in fact strongly right handed. I get an inspiration of how to modify and complete this blade. This is so strong and impression that I am moved to abandon my duties and work on it immediately, but I decide to wait for a more appropriate time!

Tues. April 22
Consort and I perform private Full Moon rite. Galdor is very vibrant and rite has a nice feel to it. Much joy follows.

Wed April 23
Odd dream upon waking this morn. I was with two others, a woman who was smart and assertive and in charge and a rather brutish fellow that was along for "muscle"... we had entered a house in search of food and goods and there was a partially eaten repast consisting of baked chicken on a sideboard. I am telling the woman something to the effect of "I generally find that it is important to be sure that when you are crucified it is for a worthy cause." Perhaps this is influenced by the fact that I am currently translating the Old English poem "The Dream of the Rood" for one of my classes... strange...

Last night got a call from M. asking if Consort and I will do a quarter for the main rite at the Beltane festival. There have been several folks that had to back out of the original planning. I hope that we can do the North quarter as the Old Norse passage from the Havamal that I wish to use will work best with that energy and Consort would like to invoke Nerthus for the element of Earth. I hope to find the Old English Charm that can be used for this purpose. It is interesting how these things work out. I had consciously decided not to seek out such a role for this festival and had only taken responsiblity for the Sword Dance which the opportunity arose to replace with a traditional Morris dance taught by a troop of folk that perform them. I was pleased that we had this opportunity and didn't mind a bit that my role in it changed...

Wed April 30
Rune study class finishes Berkano and begins Ehwaz. I decide that we should use the modified couple galdorstadha and we do this grouped in a close circle so the two forms overlap and interpenetrate each other. The galdor is very powerdful and litterally roars!

Have a very fine conversation with R. whom I am very fond of. He is going through much change of late... It's the really annoying kind that leads to new growth and understanding.

After Rune class, we meet at DL's with the Kindred for the Walpurgis rite. We use the rite out of Our Troth and it goes well. There is lightning and heavy winds in the air, but the rain holds off until we can complete the rite... I am pleased that D. is able to attend as we see so little of her.

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