While studying the structure of the Stupa this winter, I learned that in addition to what is seen above the ground, there is an equal and mirror image in the earth underneath it. It reminded me of the dorje, the double-ended Tibetan wand. It also reminded me of the Haitian marassa- . The stupa's form manifests the energy above and below so that it can not only receive stellar forces, but can also send. The most obvious form of the sending is felt as the force of love and enlightenment which creates the freedom from those evils of ego which would weigh us down in order to preserve itself; this is the out-breath of the Stupa. This is its day-time energy field. The Stupa, therefore, cannot be movable as I wished it to be, and so I could not create one as I wished.
It was well that I had not taken a vow to make one, because I have begun to understand the ultimate nature of the Vow.
The taking of a vow or Oath is to create a willful act of taking on Karma. By such an act, one is creating oneself as a martyr, because it is karma which prevents our return to the Godhead. This means that all who take on the Oath of the Bodhisattva are also martyrs. It reminds me of Crowley's Oath-name, Perdurabo, 'I shall endure unto the end', for in that promise, he became one of the Bodhisattvas.
As it turned out, this winter's Workings were of a completely unexpected nature. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I went to the Medicine Buddha for help, he being one of the great ones into whom I've been initiated in. Asking what to do, he, with typical Tibetan humor, showed me the image of Hathor, whose sacred animal is the cow. "Cow" is also the pronunciation for the word "gau", which is a medicine locket in which is stored sacred mantras, sands or other ritual objects, and worn about the neck like our own Western lockets. Having obtained one, I filled it with sand from a Medicine Buddha mandala and sent it to her, begging her to humor me in this and to wear it.
Days passed. Tests were done, surgery scheduled. I was weak from worry, when one night I found myself on the astral at the door of a building I instinctively knew was a Tibetan Sangha meeting place.
At the door I was met by a man who asked what Sangha I hailed from. I responded "Mr. Norbu's" wherein the man laughed and said that HIS name was Norbu, and which one did I mean. I specified our leader's name. He let me in and inquired as to what I needed. That was easy. "Strength" I answered. I was given what looked like a shining silver coin. As I watched it sparkle on my palm, it reduced itself to a red and black seed, of a type I've before seen that grows in the extreme South-west, Mexico and below.
Returning to my dream-state, I re-entered the worlds of fantasy until morning. Over breakfast, I told Lu about what happened. In my bead collection, which I use in making Icon-Sculptures, I have one of those seeds. I got it out to show Lu.
There, in its little compartment, were two.
Not sure which was my original and which had just curiously manifested, I put them both on my altar, where they await the coming of my OWN gau.
A week later, I was informed that my mother's cancer wasn't terminal after all, that it could be cut out. "Of course," she added "it couldn't have anything to do with her gau.
Of course not.