Magickal Record of Louis Martinie' September 1999



Wednesday 1
To Cincinnati to settle Estate. Sold house. There is not even a phone in the house. Here to clean out 50 years of the accumulation of life in 5 days. Honor Mss...Using image of a road map (external) to communicate the creation of internal roads.

Thursday 2
Cincinnati - Estate Spoke to friend Alice. She is very sick but said that she was well inside. There was a beauty, a joy in her voice.

Friday 3
Cincinnati - Estate Dream...Tibet first on emptiness. Witnessed a group of people creating conditions for emptiness. They then showed me how to use a Tibetan bowl to create the conditions for emptiness in the mind. They offered an initiation and I declined. Said that I would work to the best of my ability but would not take formal vows.

Saturday 4
Cincinnati...Estate Sale Brothers came and helped with the estate sale. Amazing, the closeness of family.

Sunday 5
Cincinnati...Estate Sale Felt completely overwhelmed. Nervous, trouble breathing, thought I was going to have a panic attack. I was sinking into the mind of the house, of this too bright and sunny neighborhood.
Then Mishlen looked at me and said I was sick. Ah! She was correct. Allergies and an odd malady from the Kalachakra; people gathered from all over the world. Lots of coughing and sneezing.
Am I so out of touch with my body that I can't tell when I'm getting sick? I almost always mistake the physical illness for a psychological problem. I realize that the psychological and physical are related but so is a cart and a horse. It's important to know which came first. Oya is an Orisha of the Market and also of the Cemetery. Many different strains of colds, flu at the Kalachakra. I can see how an ancient market could be a place where illness, some very serious, was spread. I believe this is a connection between the Market and the Cemetery.

Monday 6
Cincinnati...Estate Sale Estate Sale...The market has a lot of functions. I realized that people were coming over just to talk about the passing of Elders. They only knew that it was an estate sale. To them it was an opportunity to talk about loss.
Bouhron...learning to play. First good practice session today.

Tuesday 7
Cincinnati - Estate
Restarting work on Honor Mss.

Wednesday 8
Cincinnati - Estate
Dreamt that I had an encounter with a group of people (?) who had vast powers and could control time. There was an unsettling quality to the dream. A sense of danger though from what I do not know. My contact with the group had to be restrained so I could speak to him.
I awoke and looked at my watch for the time. It was failing. Its battery drained. Failed completely within about 30 minutes of awakening.
Maggie and Lyrus over. Took a three-hour break in our clearing of the estate.

Thursday 9
Cincinnati...Estate

Friday 10
Estate...To Bloomington.

Saturday 11
Estate

Sunday 12
Emotionally exhausted. Over 20 years of accumulation was moved out of the house this week. So many memories for Mishlen. Bags and bags of very personal things.

Monday 13
The Middle Path may be conceptualized as wide and inviting. Not the straight and narrow. The extremes are more restrictive. They seem to exclude more; more defining and confining.

Tuesday 14
Mishlen: A circle in movement would move more rapidly in the area of the rim. Given a circle that is infinitely large, ingress and egress would only be possible through the center.

Wednesday 15
Thinking about the malleability of memory. I used to carry a little cartoon in my billfold that said @, "Be careful what you do in the past, it effects the your future."

Thursday 16
Lecture by person doing research in creating false memories. Memory is much more dynamic than I thought. I knew that it was not a fixed set of images/thoughts but I did expect there to be more cohesion. So much of the sense of self is based upon memory.

Friday 17
Bought bikes. Two wheelers...I can barely stay up on it.

Saturday 18
I want to work the Universal Tradition into the Honor Ms. The study of the existence of such a tradition has long been a passion of mine.

Sunday 19
Meditation at the Tibetan Center.Resting the Mind.

Monday 20
Evening Meditation...Tremendous ache from the head of the Bon Po lineage. Just seeing him so much taught me how to clear my mind for longer periods.

Tuesday 21
Black Moon Pub. is not loosing money for the first time in @ a year and a half. New Leak Dist and amazon.com have made the difference.

Wednesday 22
Mr. Norbu asked me to cut down a tree in his garden. The Tibetans do not believe that trees or plants have sentience. I don't know. The tree was dying. I trimmed off the dead branches and there was little left. Mishlen said that she didn't think the tree would survive.

The lama and I cut it down. He is a very strong Tibetan. I gave Mr. Norbu the benefit of the doubt. Still, I don't know. This drove home the importance of having a basic set of ethical precepts to check. Choices in the world come very fast.

Thursday 23
Ethics and the teacher. I questioned Mr. Norbu's decision to cut the tree down. This is important. Without this questioning attitude there is such a danger of a cult developing. I still do not feel right about cutting the tree down but I don't feel good about leaving it up when it was obviously diseased and I kill plants (weeds) all of the time. (Later by @ two months: I look back on this and I now I think I should not have acted. Not because I believe that trees are sentient but because I do not know. It is best to refrain when you do not know.)

Friday 24
Ah! I had decided that Y2k computer problems were not worth thinking about. My credit Union upgraded for Y2K and as a result mistakenly dishonored maybe 12 checks I wrote. Perhaps I will begin to exercise more caution. At this point it is an exercise in equanimity.

Saturday 25
Lotus Fest. This is a great festival. Saw a tabla player who was the best I have ever seen. After his performance, he stood and said that we should all stand because the greatest percussionist in India was coming onto the stage. An old Hindu with his face painted came on stage and did an amazing @45 min solo. As he tuned his instruments, he said that we are all like instruments in the hand of God. We allow ourselves to be tuned.

Sunday 26
Lecture on Tibetan Medicine. Last of the Lotus Festival; Sufi music.

Monday 27
Saw Tibetan Doctor. The same man as in the movie Healing Arts Of Tibet. So gentle and self-effacing. It was an honor to be in his presence. He said there was a problem with my wind channel. To avoid spicy food (I had begun putting hot sauce in the water I drink) and strong tea (Drinking up to two pots of very strong Community coffee a day. I'd travel with my coffee cup. Definitely an addiction. Needed more and more to have an effect.) and smoking. Said he would send medicine to clear up the problem with the wind channel. He also said not to think so much.

Tuesday 28
Very bad headache. Lack of coffee. But I was only drinking coffee and wine. Knew I had to start drinking water again at some point. This was actually beginning to worry me. I could easily go days without water.

Wednesday 29
Began work creating a database for the library at the Tibetan Center. Cataloguing the books.

Thursday 30
The Honor ms is important to me. Ten years ago I worked on Curriculum and now I work on it again. I believe that it will be of use. Perhaps a new way to look at character.

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