Thursday 1: Called the Tibetan Center about my working on the library. Mary said that the security was so tight that it may be best to wait till after the Kalachakra. There is something about security and spirituality the bothers me. I get an image of a gun guarding a spiritual leader. Something doesn't fit.
Friday 2: Went to Stupa to help Mishlen to weed. It was a ritual. Each of the events and our actions fell into a perfect chorgraphery. As we were weeding, there was a crash in the near by woods and I saw/felt a big, thick snake on the ground by the tree the crash came from. It was a Naga, an earth spirit and guardian of the sacred texts. Much like Damballah. Walked past two monks while Mishlen was taking me back to look at new buildings on the Centers land. I remember someone saying that the Tibetan Center is more like Tibet than Tibet. So many signs saying to "Keep Out". A new sign on the road says that there are guard dogs on the property. It seems to me that a spiritual center should be more welcoming. Really. Should not have need of such strict security. Saw Mr. Norbu when leaving. He said, "Welcome home" to me. He has told me so many things of such great value. An Elder I can learn from. As much as I love New Orleans and the Temple, Mr. Norbu offers the greatest in spiritual power and teaching. Spent evening is a state of rigpa. A blissful contemplation of spaciousness. Tonight is really the most relaxed I have been in months. Much like the aftermath of a spiritual organism.
Saturday 3: First trip to coffee houses of Bloomington to write. Writing in a coffee house is a perfect balance of the social and the private. Afterwards I feel like I have both gone out into the world and gone into my self. Tibetans speak of the clear light. I'm reminded of the line in Liber L that describes being blinded by the light. White light, black light, or a colored light can be blinding. There is nothing within clear light to blind one.
Sunday 4: Racial killing in Bloomington. Such a shock. Bloomington is so quiet. So removed. So...I see that the security at the Tibetan Center must be tight. Sad. I New Orleans I have posters of Gandhi, King, and the Dali Lama. Yes, it is sad to realize that two of the three were shot.
Monday 5: What set the rhythm of the heart? How fast and how slow? That is the connection with the universe and the soul of drumming.
Tuesday 6: Spoke to TC on the phone. The doctors are now saying that he may live another day or five years. I understood him as saying that even the Mother was mistaken in telling him that it was time to go. I am actually shocked by this. He has lived his life in devotion to the Mother. Now the Mother may be mistaken in such an important matter. She is so large...so powerful...yet still not beyond the Wheel of Existence. This actually scares me.
Wednesday 7: Speaking to Mishlen, I realize that it would be a good idea to begin a series of rituals to ask Allen Bennet's advice on my course with Buddhism. Perhaps 25 years age when I first made contact with the spirit of Crowley, he said, "I recommend you to Allen Bennet."
Thursday 8: To Cincinnati to meet with lawyer. Begin work on Insect Loa Rite. Mishlen had some interesting thoughts about circles. Radius of a circle...If you revolve the portion of the line closest to the center, that portion moves slowly in relation to the movement of the portion of the line closest to the circumference of the circle. The absolute center of a rotating circle does not move at all. This is like Crowley writing of the Wheel of Fortune... "The center moveth not." Also, the only way to banish within the context of an infinite circle would be through the center.
Friday 9: Mishlen. Resting, not from exhaustion, but for the joy of resting. This is something I am rediscovering.
Saturday 10: RITUAL: Bloomington Temple; @10 participants WILL: Contact Allen Bennet LOVE: Used the drumming to build the flow of the current for the contact SUCCESS: Received message to look to my hands, their configuration COMMENT: Hands as mudra?...in ritual gesture?...did Crowley recognize that my hands share something with Bennet? Mishlen's work on partial possession could be important here.
Sunday 11: Played drums with a group of Celtic musicians at Soma coffeehouse. New avenues of creativity for new times.
Monday 12: Spoke at Marty's sociology of religion class at IU. One mans eyes grew wide at what I was saying. Odd. It must have touched something in him. Not so much shock as amazement. Stupa with Mishlen. Asked the Stupa about how I should work with/relate best to Allen Bennet. The Stupa showed me a crack in its side. I take this as saying that Allen Bennet is a way in. A connection between Thelema and Buddhism.
Tuesday 13: With Mishlen...spoke to Don, her teacher, at the Spoon. He has great depth and sensitivity.
Wednesday 14: Life is movement. Self initiated movement? Karma seems to move me around like a leaf in a whirlpool. What is the relationship between will and karma?
Thursday 15: RITUAL: Arlington House Temple WILL: Allen Bennet LOVE: Expedition in large Temple mirror. SUCCESS: Strong images with independent movement. Saw myself in the future. Quite distant; centuries into the future. COMMENT: Don't know what to make of this. That is good. One sign of a strong contact.
Friday 16: Celtic Drumming Sat in with Celtic group at Borders Bookstore. A performance of sorts.
Saturday 17: Celtic Drumming. I love the music but it does not stir me like French or German music. I am sure this has to do with my German and French ancestry. A direct transmission like that which brought me to love Bloomington (dream) could open me to the Celtic music.
Sunday 18: Celtic Drumming. At coffeehouse. Bagpipes. This is the first time I have played drums with bagpipes.
Monday 19: To Cincinnati. Work on the Insect Loa ritual. The time for this ritual is limited so it's important to bring the ritualists in and out smoothly.
Tuesday 20: Gathered materials for the Inset Loa rites. Did an initial blessing and placed them in the house temple overnight. Mishlen created a link using oils to awakened ones associated with the Kalachakra. Put the oils on my throat chakra before sleep. They were to bring on dreams. Woke up in middle of night with a dream/vision about time, the circle and moving through them. Was with a man. Allen Bennet? Foolish enough to not record it. Thought I would remember in the morning. I should know by now. Ah, but the bed is so soft.
Wednesday 21: Complete my notes for the Insect loa and drum sessions.
Thursday 22: To Star Wood. Three Personal Goals: -To speak meaningfully -Teach compassion for the Insect Loa -Teach the use of the drum as a spiritual instrument Saw a black cow by the side of the road. Two police were trying to keep it off of the expressway by shining searchlights on the cow. Arrived at Starwood and Jeff, the Festival organizer, said he wanted to keep the door to the cabin closed so that the moths do not get in. I wonder if the Insect Loa Rites influenced him in this. Drumming at the circle till 5am. More rhythmic and melodic than last year. There was a stronger sense of connection between the drummers and the dancers. Lord, I could not sleep it was so hot. I seemed to fall off at every (infrequent) breeze that came through the cabin and then come awake when the breeze stopped.
Friday 23: Maggie spoke on Maat Magick. Maggie cut right to the core. Primary questions about self and attainment.. She addressed the important, the primary questions. Odd insect with unique black and white markings on its back crawling on me during Maggie's presentation. Joe saw the insect and put it on my hand. ***************************************************************** DRUM SESSION: Rhythms of the New Orleans Voodoo Spiritual Temple. I began by asking drummers to sign a "thank you" to Carolyn Long. The text is below. **************************************************************** To Carolyn Long; Smithsonian Institute The Drummers of The Voodoo Spiritual Temple, Starwood Festival, and New Orleans would like to thank you for the knowledge you have uncovered concerning the original Dr. John. Your work allows us to offer more complete honor and respect to Dr. John in his roles as past historical figure and present New Orleans Loa. Thank you from all of the undersigned! (I appended some of her findings to the page) Date: Mon, 06 Apr 1998 10:24:07 -0500 From: Carolyn Long <> To: moonweb@iac.net Subject: Re: visit/II -Reply Forgot to mention--I found what I think is Doctor John's death certificate. John Montance, age 70, a native of Africa, died on August 18, 1885. The only thing that doesn't match up is the address where he died, which was on Villere. If it had been on Bayou Road, I'd be certain. Date: Wed, 31 Mar 1999 16:56:43 -0500 From: Carolyn Long <> To: moonweb@iac.net Subject: Doctor John I have now located Doctor John in the U.S. census for 1860, 1870, and 1880. His name is given as John Montane or Montaine, living on Prieur near Bayou Road with his wife--in 1860 it was Mathilde, in 1870 and 1880 it was Armantine, and many children. In 1880 his youngest son was 1 year old--John's age was given as 79--quite a stud. His profession was variously given as physician (once the enumerator added "quack" in parenthesis) and once as Indian doctor. His real estate was worth $12,000 and his personal property $800. This was comparable to a well-to-do white man. He is always easy to spot in the census because he is one of the few people born in Africa. Date: Mon, 05 Apr 1999 09:57:33 -0400 From: Carolyn Long <> To: moonweb@iac.net Subject: Re: Doctor John Montane -Reply I wish I could be at your ceremony! Please say hello to Priestess Miriam for me. Last week I went back to the Archives to see if I could find Doctor John in the 1850 census. In ward 6 I found Jean Montenet, born in Africa, owner of a coffee house. This was news to me! I THINK it's the right person, however, because of his African birth and because he was enumerated next to Hugues Pedesclaux, the notary, who I know to have owned property on Bayou Road. (Addresses weren't given until the 1880 census). ********************************************************** These are the notes from the drum session. I have expanded them to make them a bit more understandable. ************************************************************************* DRUMMING AT THE TEMPLE STARWOOD 1999 CABAL TAMBOUR Drum Rite...Head to Head (this is the short rite I try to do before I play the drum) Smithsonian - Thank You 1/2 Theory...One must "do" in order to understand so theory includes playing (35 min.) 1/2 Practice...request a loa's presence; Papa Legba...gate opener (35 min.) THEORY SECTION The most powerful rhythms are the most straight forward (story of person trying to learn fills rather than the actual rhythm that calls the particular loa) Demonstrate (play Legba / do fill / play Legba) Mind wants distractions; these look like fills Buddy Helm Mss "technique is not important. What is essential is the feel of the rhythm." In spiritual drumming; Japanese drummer at the temple who brought loa in with just a few low notes on his drum. Ornamentation (fills) are just that (filler). Go over the six core rhythms on the sheet with background information; emphasize that they are the core rhythms Teach an Order of Service from the NOVST 1 Learn rhythm 2 I give you all mind images of the loa that are held in the mind while playing the rhythm 3 Play rhythm with these mind images of the loa Rhythm: Bamboula Image: Congo Square; @ 1845; weekend; enslaved Africans; Dr. John...red and blue snakes on face Rhythm: Legba Image: Old man, demonstrate walk, moisture Rhythm: Ogun Image: Strong man or woman working iron, heat Rhythm: Banda Honor to Grand Master Jim who taught this rhythm Image: Ancestors, jerky dance, earth (organic soil) literally IS the ancestors. This is a great secret in that it is so difficult to experience. Rhythm: Yenvelou Honor Don DuFrane who taught this rhythm Image: Le Grande Zombie (Marie Laveau's snake); The Great Snake, air, Marie Laveau Rhythm: Mosquito Played to honor Oswan Chimani who taught this rhythm Image: A Temple in Belize (3 minute break so some can leave if want to before we actually drum to a loa...no fault in leaving) PRACTICE SESSION -Drum is an Asson (ritual instrument that calls the loa); so this is serious (story) -We will be playing for Legba to Open the Gate (As Priestess Miriam says...it is easy to close the Gate. - "walkie-talkie" or someone who gets up and starts to talk right after a ritual pulls the gate closed fast.) -Experience of the loa will be different for different people. No one correct way. -Soil different here so the loa will come in a different manner. This is very important. Some signs of the Gate Opening: -pulling on the drum (I usually think this is someone kidding with me, trickster - Legba in particular) -feel unusually unsteady -feel unusually steady -if you hear drum/sounds not there Make Offering: All draw veve in soil, I offer for all of us Tobacco, Rum, red palm oil PLAY LEGBA NOTE: What actually happened was that the people wanted to play to the loa Annie Christmas rather than to Legba. I started the rhythm and could not control my hands. They just played a Banda. I just looked down at my hands and it took me a while to realize what they were playing. This is a good example of partial possession, though it must have been confusing to the people at the presentation. I tried to explain that the Barons and Guedes came in when they damn well felt like coming in. The ancestors made their presence known and this was good. During the session I followed my notes rather than talking from spirit. I got bored about half way through. I am going to change what I say/do before I give this session again. The drum session was directly before Mombo Miriam came on to speak about the ritual flags. It was difficult getting people to settle down so that they could hear her. They were hyped up with the drumming. She and I thought that this was sort of like the Temple in New Orleans. She made an excellent point that each of our spirits are like the ritual flags; that in the truest sense we carry the flags within.
Saturday 24: RITUAL: Voodoo Flag Ritual. WILL: Honor and Respect to the loa LOVE: Order of Service from the New Orleans Voodoo Spiritual Temple SUCCESS: Strong COMMENT: Played a very strong Yenvelou with the drummer I met from New York that now lives in Cincinnati. We both added much to the rhythm. Some felt that this ritual was not as strong as the one last year...maybe we didn't give enough time for a sense of community to evolve among the ritualists and the drummers. I thought the rite was strong but the weather was very hot and this seemed to drain others and me. Two Guede figures stood on either side of a central fire during the rite. Magdelyn and an immense male; both in full Guede rig.
Sunday 25: Insect Loa Session...Much better than the drum session. I spoke from my heart rather than my notes and the ritual itself was quite strong. The following are my notes. I have added to the notes to make them more understandable. ************************************************************** Insect Loa Session Star Wood 1999 WHAT ARE THE INSECT LOA? Like Spirit Animals. WHY INVITE THEM TO TAKE YOU? The insect loa are adaptable; strong; quiet; very alien; survivors; they show the core of being beyond migratory personality - any loa can do this...The insect loa help to examine "Who Am I." If you are acquainted with the insect loa, you live in a larger world...Mom comes as a ladybug; Oswan comes as a roach (trickster); I seldom kill an insect. My experiences from full or partial possessions by the insect loa: -Feeling that I can live without head. Not as important as the stomach. -Life force in stomach (Note: During the session I realized that the stomach seemed more important than my head because of the food in the stomach being digested) -Mechanicalness of movement; no in-between state...just "here' and then "there" (Note: on transcribing this I realized that in reality there is no "in-between" with body movements. One is either "here" or "there". The "in-between" is a mental concept, not a direct function of the body in space. "In-between" relates to goal orientated thinking.) -"Fierce allegiance to life" This simple statement is the truest sense of the insect loa I have had after possession. ( Thank Bertiaux for his influence and work. Make point that this "fierceness" is possibly why he sees the insect loa as so feircesome.) -My body stays close to earth -My mouth doesn't talk Full or partial possession allows you to discover affinity for particular insect. Similar to a spirit animal. Work with the insect loa is all so new. One can be an explorer. Many unanswered questions such as, "Do the insects have individual Angels?" Go over the possibility of Full or Partial Possession. Cite Mishlen's work on full or partial possession. For example, ones hands alone can be possessed. (Note: This is like the Drum Session earlier when the Barons/Guedes possessed my hands to play to them and not to the loa Annie Christmas.) PARTS OF INSECT LOA RITUAL (15) Call Insect Loa...Water (Water Road/ Water is the Earths Blood). The water in the jug has been used for: 1. Benefit Living Insects...sprinkled the water on the earth. 2. The water contains parts of dead (ancestor) insects. 3. Iron spike in water to strengthen the water. Prepare to Accept: Before the Rite: Watch insects, Give them food, save their lives and tell them to tell their Mothers and Fathers what you did and your Name. During the Rite: Open the voodoosants Heads to these Loa; Potion to back of neck, The potion is composed of Red Palm oil (as powerful as blood...contains no suffering of an animal), Water charged as above, sacred earths (Temple, Congo Square) When you begin to feel the insect loa coming on, take some of the food in the plate before you. The food is a red Palm candy. Dismiss These Loa: I will wash back of your neck with Florida Water and you lie flat on the earth. GO OVER RITUAL SHEET (Respect loa: Explain that the loa will change things) CHOOSE RITUALSTS TO ACCEPT INSECT LOA Talk About EXOTERIC/ESOTERIC ORDER OF SERVICE The insect loa rite will follow this order. Exoteric: This Order of Service sets the space and the people in it to receive spirit/loa Esoteric: Order of Service is a BIRTH. Bamboula Rhythm. Exoteric - Call to Attention. Esoteric - Creation ("fucking rhythm") Legba Rhythm. Exoteric - Open Gate. Esoteric - Open way for the birth Ogun Rhythm. Exoteric - Clear Path. Esoteric - Clear way for the birth (esp. Ogun Balindio) Mama Waters Rhythm. Exoteric - Cleanse Esoteric - Birth Waters Ancestors Rhythm. Exoteric - Honor Esoteric - What is Born Grand Zombi Rhythm. Exoteric - Serpents Esoteric - Umbilical Cord Give thanks to the spirits, loa, ancestors, and buddhas Go over DRUM RHYTHMS Pass out Rhythm Sheet - (Mama Waters rhythm is evolving at the Temple) Insect Loa: It works to play a Banda rhythm with the sound of little feet and little wings created by tapping fingers on the drum head. Note : This is my Magickal record for the actual insect loa ritual performed at Starwood. I was in and out of various states of consciousness so the description of the rituals parts is approximately correct. RITUAL: Insect Loa Ritual: Starwood 1999, about 20 ritualists, about 12 people accept the insect loa. WILL: Bring the insect loa into the willing participants LOVE: (this is an outline from my notes) SET THE SPACE Voodoosants in center facing inward to Porteaumitand Drummers in one area Dancers wait Draw veve for insect loa Veve - Crossroads / with insect parts drawn in Draw this in center of Voodoosants Draw 6 long arms/legs reaching in...these will serve to direct the loa in. OPENING Begin drumming BAMBOULA Litany of the Loa walking around the Voodoosants Open the Heads of people who are going to receive the insect loa BODY OF RITUAL Dancers start / Drummers continue Draw Water Road from 6 extensions I See to things / Invite Loa / Drum CLOSE Stop Drumming Stop Dancers Close Wash back of neck Position Voodoosant flat on earth Give Thanks SUCCESS: Strong; the insect loa came down COMMENT: Priestess Miriam was there. Very good. I anointed her. This is a turn around from New Orleans. Ah! All things change; even if you don't like (or like) to see them change. - One woman taken by a flying insect had all sorts of muscle spasms with her back. The mussels moving the wings in flight. Her husband (and I believe she also) were entomologists. - There was an unusual time element. The rite was held in a covered (hot sun) space that was scheduled for another session in 75 minutes. I worried about this but got the people in and out before the next session was to use the space. - I said that the best thing was not to talk about the ritual for a while. Putting the experience into words would rob it of some of its full, experiential power. But since it was a Festival and we all would soon go our separate ways, I would wait and talk to those who wanted to talk about the experience. Left for Bloomington late in the afternoon. Arrived at @3am. So tired.
Sunday 25: Sleep and rest for body, mind, and spirit.
Monday 26: A new form for the Drum Rhythm Session has come to me. I will do the libations to the earth. Describe how the earth is the ancestors and then lead an analytical meditation on earth as ancestors. Then participants can trace veve of the Barons on their drumheads and we will work on playing the Banda.
Tuesday 27: Sent the Congo Square mss to the Missouri Review for possible inclusion in their historical fiction issue. Included Carolyn Long research.
Wednesday 28: Kalachakra Working and the Circle. Mishlen is reminded of Grant's Outside the Circles of Time. Don, her teacher, commented on silence and friction (I think).
Thursday 29: Belief in the loa does not necessarily mean belief in a/the God. The loa are a continuum composed of sentient beings, the whole being greater than the sum of the parts.
Friday 30: Mishlen...absolute 0 resides at the center of the circle. Her work with circles continues.
Saturday 31: RITUAL: Drum Ritual. Arlington House WILL: Honor and Respect to the Loa LOVE: Litany of the Loa SUCCESS: Good COMMENT: Working with Bloomington group.