As my interest in cycling began, I went out in ordinary apparel, although I did get a helmet right away. Nothing unusual on the bike trail, of course, but I occasionally saw cyclists dressed in full technicolor garb - special shirts, special shoes, special gloves, bizarre sunglasses, the works. These guys take cycling a little too seriously, I thought, and must be rather vain as well. In other words, I resented them, especially as I felt their wake.

As everyone learns, the saddle area is the most painful to a beginning cyclist. The chafing of my loose clothing in this area added to the discomfort, so I reluctantly ordered a pair of cycling shorts. Having never worn such radical clothing before, I felt practically naked wearing them, but Wow! Very comfortable.

At around the same time, I realized that my upper thighs would not be so sore if I could pull up on the pedals as well as push down. I installed the necessary hardware, toe clips, and eventually got the special shoes with cleats that bring cyclist and cycle together as a single machine. This indeed made pedaling easier, and gave a more secure feeling. I later upgraded to so-called clipless pedals that let you dissassemble this machine quickly when necessary.

At this point, I had a helmet, shorts and shoes, and also a new, modern bicycle.

As I started riding on roads, I felt the need to be more visible to traffic, so I bought a colorful cycling jersey. Such jerseys are usually made of a fabric that does not absorb water, much more comfortable than cotton after a cold rain storm. The rear pockets are very handy, too.

My hands often hurt during a long ride, so I ordered a pair of padded cycling gloves. When the weather changed, I learned that the terry cloth backs on cycling gloves are meant for wiping the inevitable runny nose that comes from the combination of cold wind and exertion. (Never extend your bare hand to shake the gloved hand of a cyclist!)

Hunched over on a bike, your neck is always straining to look up; ordinary sunglasses make you strain even more to see under their upper frames. Those bizarre sunglasses have no upper frames. I bought a pair. I passed on the $200 variety, though.

OK, now I think I have all the right gear, of various colors not found in nature. But something is not right. What could it be? Ah, the socks! I am wearing regular length white socks. To eliminate unnecessary weight and windage, serious cyclists wear short socks. I got some short socks right away and achieved cycling style. Except, you understand, it is not really style, just sound engineering judgement. Really!

Well, I have not quite achieved the full appearance of a serious cyclist. This would require some serious dieting and also shaving my legs. That's right - serious male cyclists shave their legs, supposedly to allow better healing of road rash. But a discussion I read on the internet revealed that this reasoning is without medical justification. They shave their legs for the same reason all women do!

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Curt Austin maintains the web pages for the Queen City Wheels at www.qcw.org and can be reached at curt@AustinImage.com.